Mystery Evangelion Theatre 3000 - Show 4
by Pokemon Ranger J
Summary: Another Stinkburger is on the loose!


The night of Scream

Mystery Evangelion Theatre

** **

** **

In the not too distant future,

2018 AD,

There was a guy named James, 

not too different from you or me.

He worked at the Marduc institute

Just another guy in dark trenchcoat,

He did a good job kicking angel face,

But Gendo didn't trust him so he shot him into space!

GENDO:

I'll send him cheesy fanfics,

Woo Woo

The worst I can find!

Lalala

He'll have to sit and watch them all,

And I'll monitor his mind!

Now keep in mind James can't control,

Woo Woo

Where the fanfics begin or end!

Lalala

He'll try to retain his sanity,

With the help of his random friends!

RANDOM ROLL CALL

Shinji Ikari!

(Huh?)

Rei Ayanami!

(Blue hair is in!)

Dave Scott!

(I am David, hear me roar!)

Spike Spiegel (I'm different!)

If you're wondering how they eat and breathe, 

And other science facts, 

Just repeat to yourself,

This is just a show, 

I should really just relax!

For Mystery Evangelion Theatre 3000

Wannnnng!

**On the SOI the crew is playing bad NES roms on the ship's computer.James and Spike are playing now, and the rest of the crew is cheering for them.Except Shinji, who is making a Pork Roast in the galley.Gendo's light flashes, and they pause the game to answer his call.**

** **

**All:Hello Commander Ikari!**

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**Gendo:Don't waste my time, nitwits.Here's a bad fic.I need to have some coffee.**

** **

**James:Yeah, go take your Midol!**

** **

**Gendo:That's it.Next time I'll send the worst fic I can find!You deserve it Kelley!**

** **

**All:James!Why do you provoke him like that!**

** **

**Before James can answer, the klaxons start to blare.They all rush to the theatre, and seat themselves.Now, roll:**

The night of Scream.

**James: Oh no, perhaps this will be bad.Anime knockoff of a bad horror movie!**

By John82

**Dave:Fans killed the other 81 clones of him.It was a noble cause.** ****

"I'm home!"Shinji called out as he opens the door to the apartment.

**James (as Misato):Oh no, he got in.Asuka, I thought I told you to bolt the door!**

He went over to the TV and turns it on.

**Spike: Shouldn't that be 'turned.'**

Misato came out of her room and asked, "Where did you go?"

**Dave (as Shinji): Hell, but I got kicked out for being destructive.**

"I picked up a classic film on DVD.It's called Scream.It's a horror film."

**Spike: Don't worry, it can't be worse than Manos, The Hands of Fate!**

"Oh!I really love horror movies.Do you mind if I watches it with you?"

**Dave (as Misato): Yes, go away! **

Nodding, Shinji said, "I don't mind."He went over to Asuka's room and knocked on the door.

**James (as Shinji): Hey Asuka?I got you that thirty pounds of government cheese you wanted!**

"Asuka?"

**Spike (in a deep male voice): Uhh…Yeah?**

"Stay out baka!"Came the answer.

**Dave:Can I come in if I do it intelligently?**

"Asuka, Misato and I are watching Scream.Do you want to watch it too?Or are you just going to sulk there all night just because you can't go on a school

trip?"

**Spike:It'd probably be more fun that watching Scream.Granted, Hving my ears removed with **

The door opened, revealing Asuka, with a sour look on her face,"You baka, do you really think I am going to watch a stupid movie with you?Ha!I don't

think so."

**All: We do!**

And as she went back into her room, Shinji says, "So you are telling me that you are that scared of a horror movie.Touji will have a field day with this.

James (as Asuka): Field day!Wahhhhh!I don't want to hear about anymore field trips.I wanted to go to the beach!

Just

image… 

**Spike:This author has some major problems grammarwise.**

the demon is scared of a horror movie!She always screams every time things go bump in the night.She's also afraid of the monsters under her

bed!"

**James: Anyone would be with Kaji and Shinji around.**

And Shinji went on, mocking Asuka.Finally she can't take it anymore and she hits Shinji on the head,"BAKA!I, the great Asuka, am not scared of

anything!And since when you grew a spine?"

**Spike:I am grew spine now rightness!**

Shinji only grinned at her."Asuka is scared of her own shadow!"He sang.

**Dave: I never knew Shinji sang!That must be what's been scaring Asuka!**

Asuka hits him again and said, "All right, all right, I will go and watch this stupid movie with you two.Just don't touch me or I'll KILL YOU!"

**All:Come on!Do it!Please!**

Pen Pen joined the three, resting on the couch, bringing some beers for himself and Misato.

**James: Great!Just what this fic need, a drunk penguin!**

She really needs to quit drinking so much.He thought, as he

climbed up on the couch and lets out a 'Waaarh.' to let the others know that he is ready.He has no idea what he is watching, but he doesn't care just as

long it is good enough.

Dave:Too bad they rented Scream.

Shinji pressed PLAY on the remote control and the movie started.

** **

James: Fortunately the power went out, and they played cards instead.

Both Pen Pen and Shinji cheered the killer, wearing a ghost-like mask, on as he kills his victims in a very gory manner.

**Spike:Viscious little shits, aren't they?**

However, Shinji was worried as he

heard nothing from the two females sitting with him, but shrugs if off. 

**Spike:How exactly do you shrug if off?**

**James:Sounds like a girl I met a bar once.**

After the movie was finished, Shinji commented to Pen Pen, "Wow!That was one awesome movie!Wouldn't you agree Pen Pen?"

**Dave: Unfortunately Pen-Pen was killed by the movie quality.**

"Waarch! (I loved it!)

**All:Run!Undead penguin!**

Shinji got up and noticed something strange:neither Misato nor Asuka was to be seen.

Spike:This author has a problem with switching from past to present tense.

He shrugs,"Oh well, I'm going to bed."

The next morning, Shinji got up from his bed and looked at the clock.It was way past the usual time Asuka always wakes him up.Where's Asuka?Maybe

she is sick or something.He went on about his business.After he made his breakfast, he saw both Misato and Asuka are now at the table.They seem

tired.

**Spike (cowering):Make the Bad Grammar Man stop!**

Bringing his breakfast over to the table, he asked, "So what do you think of the movie?"

Dave:He probably should have asked that during the movie.

Ritsuko hates getting up so early.But she has a lot to do so she was working on one of her jobs.Maya brings some coffees 

**James: Multiple coffees!Wow, she'll be hopped up real bad!**

over to where she was

working.

**Spike (Whimpering):Grammar…. From… Hell….Waaaark!(Spike passes out).**

**James:Spike?**

**Dave:We've got to finish the fic!We'll help Spike later.**

Ritsuko took the cup, "Thank you, Maya."

**Dave (as Ritsuko):And now you die!**

"It was no problem.So what are we going to do today?"

**Dave (as Ritsuko):I just told you.Die!**

"Well, a lot.First off…" Ritsuko trailed off.

**James:Well, okay, I forgot.All that caffeine.**

Maya got worried and asked, "What's the matter, madam?"

**Dave (as Ritsuko):Oh, the usual, Angels destroying City Hall, renegade guerrilla groups cuting off our power, and Gendo's got PMS again!**

Ritsuko frowned and said, "I thought I heard Misato and Asuka screaming."

James (heavy sarcasm, monotone):Woah.Now, if anything thrilled me, it was that fic.I may never sleep again.Wowie.

** **

**Dave:Damn, that sucked.**

** **

**The pair drag Spike out to the main deck, where Gendo is on the screen belittling Shinji. TV's Fuyutski is behind them.**

** **

**Gendo:Well, idiots?Are you ready to bow down now?**

** **

**James:Nope, we won't be broken yet.**

** **

**Gendo:Mark my words, Kelley, I'll find a fic even you can't riff!**

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**James:I doubt that.**

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**Gendo:Don't worry.I will… I will. **

** **

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**He shuts off the screen**

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**Dave:We are so screwed…**


End file.
